A year of Maven

It's funny how I spent years thinking that I couldn't run a business, that's for the more intelligent, the business savvy, the entrepreneur, not for people like me, and over the years I have worked with, for and witnessed people starting businesses on a shoe string, with little or no business experience.  The rise of the "influencer" has clearly demonstrated you don't really need any talent or skills to make a fortune, when people are making massive sums of cash for selling pictures of their feet, why not me??

The trouble is, as I tend to do in life, when I make big life changing decisions it usually comes with unforeseen circumstances that really change my life for the worse;

1. I invested a large amount of money in a company I worked for that went bust a year later
2. I bought two houses just before the housing crash 
3. I closed my business to seek altruistic pursuits a month before COVID 
4. I got married and divorced (and that was my most expensive mistake!!)

So the idea leaving a relatively well paid consultancy to start my own business with two children under 3 had all the signs of being another one of my typical short term exciting life choices., but with a supportive partner, some amazing friends and mentors, I took the plunge and my first year has been a rollercoaster.

Now, am I an amazing business person? No.  Am I even successful at this point? Absolutely not.  But what I am is trying.  Hard.  

I now see the working weekends, late nights, imposter syndrome, never satisfied with what I create and realising that everyone wants to work with you, until it's time to put pen to paper problems I've heard about all these years.  I speak to fellow start ups all the time and the struggle is real, the constant worry, the let downs, and the ghosting, but the highs outweigh the lows, being my own boss means I get to buy the nerdy tech, wear my Geek Chic whatever I want to workwear, and I get to work with the people that I feel make me better, aligns to my values and means that I get to be my authentic self every day, and that is priceless.

Will I be here in a year, or even 6 months?  Who knows.  But, I get to drop my kids off to school, I get to pick them up, and I get to be present and (relatively) relaxed when I'm with my kids, so I'd say I'm winning.